It’s no secret that I’m a big believer in men being prepared for every situation.  However, thanks to some of the images of “manliness” that we’re exposed to on TV and in the movies, many guys mistakenly think that being prepared to fend off a zombie attack or survive a home invasion are the only “survival skills” a man needs.  Well, I hate to break it to you folks, but there’s more to life than the complete breakdown of civilization.  Sad, I know.  But if Will Smith’s character in I am Legend took the time to exercise and cook his dog veggies, despite being the last human in the Big Apple, maybe we should take a look at some of the (arguably) less “masculine” but, by no means, less “manly” skills that allow us to survive in the civilized world.  At least until the commies invade, Red-Dawn-style .

                One of these important “domestic survival skills” is ironing.  Keeping your clothes neat and pressed is important.  Your personal appearance is the first thing someone notices about you, and pressed clothing says “I have the manual dexterity to safely handle a hot thing, and I care about how I look.”  Unfortunately, current fashion trends and modern materials are really working overtime to put ironing out of its misery.  If, per chance, you actually come across a guy who shops for himself, and his wardrobe isn’t comprised entirely of t-shirts and jeans that he throws on straight from Mom’s dryer (or worse, the floor), you might find a lot of “wrinkle-free” dress shirts and slacks in his closet.  You might say to yourself “Huzzah, Self!  I can avoid ironing and still look like a grown-up!”  Well, I’m all for modern convenience (that’s a lie, actually) but look me up in 20 years, when decades of your bare skin’s direct exposure to harsh petro-chemicals has turned you into a flesh-eating zombie (I’ll be ready, *shuck-chunk*).  Call me paranoid, but I prefer natural fibers, or at least a blend that has more natural than synthetic in it.  Especially for button-down shirts, which is what this post happens to be about.

                Of all the articles of clothing in a man’s wardrobe that require ironing, the button-down shirt is the most complex.  It has collar stays, lots of seams and panels, varying layers of fabric and lot’s of…buttons (imagine that).  Many men (and women) are so intimidated by it that they would rather send shirts to the cleaners to have them cleaned and pressed and then think that, at 99 cents per shirt, they’ve gotten a good deal.  Trust me, they haven’t.*  The truth is that ironing a button-down shirt is easy if you follow the right steps.  Once you master the button-down, any other ironing you have to do will be cake.  Here’s how it’s done:

                Step 0:  Preparation.

- Your shirt should be clean (duh).  

- If they’re removable, make sure to take out the collar stays (the little plastic tabs inside the collar points).  Hopefully, you did this before you washed the shirt.  Otherwise, check your drier’s lint trap.

- Make sure you have a decent quality iron with a steam feature and an adjustable heat dial.  Not all fabrics can deal with one, super-hot setting.

- Grab a sturdy ironing board with a cushion over it.  It’s very difficult to do some of the steps without an ironing board, but not impossible. 

- Distilled water for the steam.  Tap water will work, but it will eventually ruin your iron and deposit some vitamins and minerals all over your clothes.

Step 1:  The collar.

                Once the iron is nice and hot, you can start ironing by laying the collar flat on the board with the back of it facing up.

                Starting at the points, iron towards the center until it’s crease-free.  Flip the shirt over and repeat on the other side.

                Step 2:  The yoke:

                The yoke is the double-layered section of the shirt that spans both shoulders, across the top of your back.  This is where the shape of the ironing board comes into play.  Slip the shirt over the pointy end so the yoke lays relatively flat.  Iron until smooth.

                Step 3:  The cuffs:

                Regardless of what kind of cuffs your shirt has (standard, barrel, French), the process is the same.  Open the cuff, lay it flat, inside facing up and iron it smooth.  Flip it over and repeat with the outside.

                Step 4:  The sleeves.

                If you’ve noticed, until now we’ve only ironed the parts of the shirt that are composed of multiple layers of fabric.  These parts are stiffer than the others and, once ironed, help to align the single-layer fabric parts for a uniform look.  Now that we have the yoke and cuffs pressed, the sleeves can be ironed.  Arrange the sleeve so that the seam running along the bottom is straight and iron it until smooth.  You may chose to iron the other side if necessary, but it’s usually not if you aligned it correctly.  Repeat the steps with the other sleeve.

                Step 5:  The plackets.

                The packets are the folded strips of fabric where the buttons and button-holes are located.  These need to be ironed before the body panels can be done.  The button-hole placket is very important since it is the most visible part of your shirt, aside from the collar.  Use the point of the iron to get between the buttons on the button placket.  Don’t put the iron directly over the buttons.  Especially if they’re made of horn or some other natural material, which, when burnt,  smells like tooth-sawdust like when you get a cavity filled.

                Step 6:  The sides.

                Now that you have the entire shirt blocked out, ironing the large side panels is cake.  Slide the shirt over the pointy end with the panel pointing up and iron until smooth.  Flip it over and repeat with the other panel.  When you’re ironing the panel with the pocket, make sure you iron the pocket first, starting from the edges and working your way in.

                Step 7:  The back.

                If you’ve made it this far without burning yourself, tripping over the cord or gotten side-tracked into making grilled cheese sandwiches, a la Benny and Joon  congratulations.  You’re almost done.  The back is large and should be done in two parts.  Just slip it over the ironing board and go to town.  Some shirts have darts or pleats below the yoke.  These are put there to allow you to move without feeling like a stuffed sausage.  Take care to iron these so they look natural, without any creases.  Do this with the other half of the back and you’re one step away!

                Step 8:  Collar stays.

                If you took them out in Step 0, put them back in. 

             Hang your shirt up so it stays pressed, or put it on and enjoy the fruits of your labor.  Please wear it responsibly.

                * A note on dry-cleaning.  When you take a dress shirt to your local dry-cleaner and pay 99 cents a shirt (varies) you’re not getting what you think you are.  Unless, you specify “dry-cleaning” (which costs about $5 a shirt), your shirt is getting thrown into an industrial washing machine with hundreds of strangers’ sweaty-armpit shirts, getting washed with the cheapest detergent and being pressed by machine and starched out the wazoo, which shortens its lifespan.   If you’re made of money and do specify dry-cleaning, that’s even worse.  The chemicals used in dry-cleaning deteriorate cotton fibers and will give your shirt a yellowish tinge.  Washing and ironing at home will almost always save you money and wear in the long run.